Yelling at Ted for waiting to have sex with a woman: "The only reason to wait a month for sex is she's 17 years, 11 months old."

Robin: Barney is crazy if he thinks this is gonna work.
Marshall: I think it's gonna work.
Lily: I hope it doesn't work.
Ted: Shht, here he comes... (Barney comes to the bar in an old-man make up...)
Barney: You there, what's your name???
Cindy: Excuse me?
Barney: Your name, woman, what's your name!!
Cindy: Cindy.
Barney: I knew it, you are the Cindy, the one who change everything, or spell our inevitable doom! Now listen to me Cindy, I am Barney Stinson and I am on an urgent mission from the future!
Cindy: the future?
Barney: The future! And I can prove it to you! In exactly 4 seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man! (Robin slaps Ted, Cindy is now amazed.)
Barney: In a few minutes the young me from your time is going to come through that door! Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet you need to sleep with him, tonight!
Cindy: What???
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight! In whatever way he wants it or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race!
Cindy: What are you talking about?
Barney: I have no time to explain! I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes! Only you can save us, Cindy! I must away!!
(After a short while, the young Barney Stinson comes in...)
Cindy: Oh my god! you're... oh my god?? Can I buy you a drink?
Barney: Well, I suppose I have time for one drink, and 45 minutes to an hour of some other activity but after that I have to get back to, uh, a top secret project that I'm working on.
Cindy: Global warming?
Barney: Omg, how did you know that???

Check season 4 episode 4 if you haven't watch it yet! That episode is a legend!

Barney: We.. We redecorated my appartment, we stayed in on a friday night to watch ladderman, we slepth together and did not have sex... OH MY GOD! We're in RELATIONSHIP!!!

Barney: So... I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend.
Robin: And I just slept with my ex-boyfriend's really good friend.
Barney: Best friend!

Barney Stinson - Come on Ted this is the one of the things you got to do before you are 30.
Ted Mosby - What? Sleeping with a prostitute?
Barney Stinson - No, losing your virginity, what upp!

Here is my favorite one, Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave you met Ted?

Reminiscing about his first sexual experience: “That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani-clad and fully awesome.”

Explaining to Marshall about his qualities: “Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!”

Barney: Ted I found the way to get rid of the girls that i newly met.
Ted: What's it?
Barney: I say I love you!

What up?